Localband.net Member Since: April 19, 2005
Last Update: July 12, 2005
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ALL THE EVENTS IN THIS BIO ARE TRUE. THE NAMES ARE OF REAL PEOPLE AND ORGANIZATIONS It was a dark and stormy night… only hours after The Creeper’s funeral. Across the street, at the UNEEDA medical supply warehouse, two of the guys working there accidentally cracked open a metal tank, releasing a gas developed by the military to resurrect dead tissue. Also inside the tank was a freshly re-animated corpse from the original 1968 undead incident, but that’s another story… After a series of unfortunate events, one of the cadavers in the freezer was re-animated as well. After the two called their boss, the decision was made to cut up the corpse and take it to the mortuary across the street to be burned. However, what they thought was the end of their problems turned out to be only the beginning. The smoke from the crematorium seeped into the cemetery, causing the re-animation of virtually the entire graveyard. Among those resurrected was The Creeper himself, killed while visiting Louisville, Kentucky. The undead outbreak spread quickly, before a decision was made to deploy a small tactical nuclear device to incinerate the area. But The Creeper had other plans… After eating some naked punk rock chick’s brains, he quickly stole an old graffiti riddled convertible and made his way back to Ohio, where he would start his new band. Hanging out in his hometown graveyard, he found his guitarist leaning up against a mausoleum, clutching a bottle of Jager in his cold, dead hand. His name was Jacob Caskets. They finished off the bottle, and decided that next on the list was a drummer. Hearing a scream from down the road, their eyes lit up. Fate’s a funny thing, huh? Enter Mr. Machine, a local snuff film maker, who had just completed his latest masterpiece. Creep & Caskets struck up a conversation during Machine’s cleanup duties, and discovered that he was a drummer. Dead or alive, he was their man. The next few weeks were slaying’ hookers, eating brains & taking names, until one night when they heard a news bulletin interrupt their tunes. It stated that serial killer Charles Lee Ray had escaped the local asylum, and was suspected to be in the area. The initial meeting was less than warm, considering Ray tried to kill Creep & Caskets, until realizing that you can’t kill what’s already dead. They explained to him that they were in a band, and on tour there’s a LOT of people to kill. Ray immediately picked up a guitar he acquired from his last kill, and learned how to play rhythm guitar. All that was left was a bassist. One night, they decided to visit a local bar (called the Underground, ironically). Upon their arrival, they spotted an old Hearst in the parking lot. It was here that they met the final piece in the puzzle. The obvious driver was sitting at the bar, drunk and stoned out of his mind. They found out that his name was Lurch, and he was a former butler of some creepy family from out of town. However, after discovering drugs & alcohol, as well as saying “You Rang…?” one too many times, he slaughtered the entire family. He even had his way with the wife afterward. He then took the family car (see outside), and left to pursue his dreams of being in a rock & roll band. The lineup is now complete… Lock your doors… look under your beds… but only if you’re afraid! If not, Rot In Peace… Make some noise… Try the Graveyard sound… and BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!
The Creeper - Lead Vocals Jacob Caskets - Lead Guitar/ Baking Vocals Charles Lee Ray - Rhythm Guitar/ Backing Vocals Lurch - Bass/ Keyboard/ Backing Vocals Mr. Machine - Drums
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